Posted by Anonymous on 2013/04/13 under Uncategorized My family isn’t close. I wouldn’t say were dysfunctional, but we’re not the happiest under the sky. My older brother and I don’t talk–especially since he got onto drugs; though I don’t think he takes in that anymore. I’m not extremely close to my father, but he’s somebody I look up to: I always take his advice and really do enjoy being around him, despite we have different interest. My mother, however, is somebody I’m incredibly close to–she’s always helped me. Despite I argue with her a lot, I talk to her more than the others. I always have. and she hasn’t been too healthy in the last few months. I don’t know if it’s the smoking she takes in, the vodka she drinks at night and hides from everybody, or something else were not aware of, but my father came in from work this morning (he works a night shift, so he comes home about 7 AM) and found her tensed up–as if she had a seizure. If they are anything that hit me in my heart today, it was waking up to the sound of my father screaming to call 911. I did just that while my older brother rush to help my father with other things. I’ve never seen my father beg, cry, or even tear up–and his father passed away last December. My brother, father, and I rush to meet the ambulance somewhere. We didn’t want to wait–our mother was almost lifeless, we had to move as we felt time was of the essence. Fast forward to meeting the ambulance, all I can remember is my father, my brother, and I standing above my mother, who’s eyes were wide open, but accompanied by a lifeless, yet tensed up, body. I remember looking up at my father and brother, and saw them looking down. It was the first time we had been concerned with something but ourselves, together. As a family. And it took my mother having a seizure or something or the sort to do it. and I felt I had discovered a vault of feelings I could never explain. My mother is now in ICU (Intensive Care Unit?) and while my father says the worst, officials say she’s doing better. All of my extended family is there beside of her, at the hospital. but I’m not. I’m here at work. I had to go to work. I needed the money–bad. I can’t afford to miss work, but not being there with my mother if the worst situation happens could destroy me, I feel, physiologically for the rest of my life. While my father understands my situation, he promises me that my mother would understand. I’ve been calling him like crazy for information that he doesn’t have. I’ve been ignoring calls from my extended family because they think of me as a selfish man who doesn’t care about his mother. and I believe they are no “getting” to them. I couldn’t explain my financial situation, and I can’t begin to describe how I feel how my mother in here current condition. I’ve left out a lot of parts–things that would require larger stories. Such as how my brother and I are both married and still living with our parents–it’s a tough story to tell, but it’s one I won’t bother with. I just wanted to put this all down in text at least. Make some sense of it. Realize what I’m doing and what I need to do. I’m thankful that a website like this exists.